Coburn Kids

We’re starting a new therapy with Caden, behavioral based therapy.  It’s basically a positive reinforcement aka rewarding good behavior method. His Speech Pathologist is introducing us to it… and yes it’s very much the same way you train dogs.  Now don’t brand me with a “Bad Mom” tattoo on my forehead but it’s the exact same concept.  Plus, I love dogs and think of them as very intelligent, sensitive and compassionate animals.  You should see how much our dog Darwin adores babies.  Our dog is the first one to come running when Caden cries and tries to lick him and whines until one of us comes to pick him up.  Darwin is a mother at heart.

This is all happening because Caden has finally passed the 9 month mark in his gross motor development and though we aren’t quite there with comprehension… there’s really no way to tell.  His speech may only be at a 6 month level but he could very well be comprehending more then that so we’re going to shoot for that.  Yes, Caden is that far behind but he’s making progress.  This new therapy is for Caden to learn how to drink from a sippy cup.  We are having to use his G-tube for all his liquids because Caden doesn’t “get” what to do with a sippy cup, a bottle, a cup or any liquids in general.  So we sit with him 3 times a day and force him to put the sippy cup to his mouth with his own hands and then reward him by letting him play with a toy for 20-30 seconds inbetween.  No is not an option and we just reinforce that drinking is a good thing, that he’ll be rewarded for it.  It’s a game for him.  We are doing this in an effort to one day, hopefully, be able to get rid of his feeding tube.

I had another comment about the “catch up by age 2″ the other day that is tossed around with preemies.  As a note, preemies with many complications, who endure long hospital stays, who are born at 1 and 2 pounds do not usually “catch up” by age 2.  It’s a frustrating statement and one that confuses and really misinforms a lot of mothers out there who both have preemies and who do not.  Caden is nearly 18 months old and while we set goals for him and he is doing very well for his history, he will not catch up anytime soon.  I’m okay with this, as long as there is progress.  Caden is not my first so I no longer feel compelled to compare him to other children.  With Genevieve this was a very frustrating thing for me to watch my 16 month old not be able to walk, stand or crawl while the 11 month old next to her did.  But look at her now!  You would never even know that she was born prematurely.

I don’t see Caden following the same progress that my first daughter made, nor do I expect it.  In fact I can be incredibly frustrating to his therapists because of the vague and general “goals” that I set for him.  It’s not that I don’t hope for or expect them to happen, I just know that things happen on their own time and I would rather be pleasantly surprised then frustrated.  We don’t know if Caden will ever be “normal” or ever catch up, being so young there is still a lot in his future that is a wait-and-see game. I do have to say that it’s amazing watching a child really have to learn and work at the most basic of skills though.  I know that, as a mother of 2 other children, I took for granted how easy the learning process was for them.  From sitting up, to talking, to eating!!  Watching a child really struggle and try to grasp concepts that we do everyday without much thought is incredibly humbling.  I am really grateful to see it though.  To appreciate those moments when I can see the connection happening.  My 2 other daughters really get a kick out of it as well, they love to help him and demonstrate how to do things.  They are great teachers!